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Chapter 29: Hurts, doesn't it?

Rodimus heard Drift scream.

 

It stopped him in his tracks, a few short paces from the Medibay, just in time for his near hourly round of Check On Drift Without Being Seen.

 

The sound was strange to him, foreign. It wasn't right. Drift didn't scream.

 

Stumbling forward, his pedes were already in a mad dash for the door before anything else could process, consumed with the sole need to make the noise stop.

 

The Medibay was an explosion of chaos, machines and alarms blaring as Ratchet and Velocity hovered over Drift and- oh god, they had him on spark support again. Rodimus felt his tank drop. Drift had been improving, hadn't he? Why now? Primus, why now?

 

Then again, what did he know? Some friend he was, stalking Drift in the Medibay, too afraid to come anywhere near because of one time- one time he'd hurt Drift.

 

But it wasn't really just one time.

 

"'Ratchet? What's-"

 

"Not now, Rodimus." Ratchet didn't even spare a glance back before hissing out at him. Rodimus ignored him, his aching spark taking him right up to where they had Drift. He needed to see Drift.

 

Drift, who was tied down to the berth.

 

'"Wha- what are you doing to him?!"

 

Harsh fingers dug into his arm before he could start freeing Drift from where they'd cruelly pinned him down. "Don't. Rodimus, so help me. If you can't-"

 

Rodimus yanked himself out of the iron-grip. "Why do you have him restrained-?"

 

"If you can't calm yourself right now, I will have you forcibly removed from this Medibay."

 

Vents hitched as Drift sobbed below them, still fighting against the restraints and Rodimus was reaching for him again before he realized what was happening.

 

"Rodimus! He's dying!"

 

He froze in place, letting Ratchet shove him out of the way.

 

"Ratchet, the sedative isn't strong enough. He's going to need another dose." Velocity's voice shook with urgency, her hand resting over Drift's medical port and a large needle positioned in the other.

 

Drift struggled harder at that, gasping and wheezing loudly as the monitor beside him screamed-red alerts filling the display. He was dying.

 

Rodimus shut his optics, he shut out the sight of his friend held down like a wild mechanimal. He shut out the sound of Drift begging them not to do it, that he couldn't take any more. He shut out the attempts to soothe him, all in vain. Rodimus locked his frame in place, biting his lip until he felt mesh tear. Energon seeped onto his glossa and he focused in on that pain, holding himself back from just whisking Drift away, far, far away from here. If he interfered, Drift would die.

 

Something brushed up against his field. Something desperate and longing. Optics onlined to see Drift, lying still and trembling. His eyes were wide with silent terror as he stared at nothing. There wasn't anything calming about that state, they'd simply traded physical restraints for a hellish nightmare only Drift could feel.

 

Drift pushed out his EM field again, stronger this time. Ratchet didn't reciprocate.

 

Rage boiled over in his spark and he couldn't contain it this time. Rodimus sent his like a flood, washing over Drift with every emotion he could muster in the moment, anything to let Drift feel that he was here and that he wasn't going anywhere. Not again.

 

"Rod…?" The word was spoken so softly, he'd nearly missed it. Drift gaped at him as if it was only now that he'd noticed Rodimus at all.

 

Everything be damned, Rodimus rushed up to him, reaching for Drift's now free hand, before pulling back, hesitant. "…Yeah. I've got you."

 

Velocity and Ratchet worked around him, speaking quietly amongst themselves, speaking quietly to Drift. Drift didn't hear any of it. His sole focus was on Rodimus, as if he was the only thing keeping Drift here.

 

"Rodimus." Drift's hand twitched toward him and Rodimus finally took it in his own. He waited in horrible anticipation for Drift to start screaming in pain. It was stupid to fear that. He did anyway.

 

Ratchet stood on Drift's other side, untying his wrist. Rodimus pointedly ignored him.

 

"Rodimus… I don't know- I don't know where I am." Drift's gaze was unfocused, he was somewhere else.

 

"You're right here with me. On the Lost Light. It's safe here." Rodimus held tighter to Drift's hand. His vents caught. Flame mods were disabled, weren't they? He'd triple checked already, but once more wouldn't hurt-

 

"No… no that's not right. I'm not. I'm-"

 

"You're safe. You're safe, Drift."

 

Taking in a shaky vent, Drift shook his helm. "No. No, it doesn't feel-" His mouth open and closed as he failed to get the words out. "…It hurts, Rod. It hurts."

 

Ratchet wasted no time at all intruding where he wasn't welcome. "Where does it hurt, Drift? Can you tell me your level of pain?"

 

Receiving no response, Ratchet placed his hand on Drift's arm. "Drift…?"

 

Drift flinched. The hand pulled away. Rodimus didn't bother to look how Ratchet took it.

 

Hurts, doesn't it?

 

He didn't have the right to be this petty. Not about this. As if Rodimus was any better.

 

"Where's… where's Ratchet?" Drift still wasn't looking at him.

 

Rodimus barely caught sight of Ratchet in the corner of his visual feed, turned away with his hand over his face. Probably in distress.

 

"Waiting just outside." A gentle pat on Drift's hand. "He's fine."

 

"No… where's Ratchet? He's gone. I don't feel him anymore." There was an edge of panic in his voice as Drift's other hand patted around the berth beside him. "I need him. I need him-"

 

Rodimus was at a loss. "I don't know what you mean, he's right here."

 

Still nothing from Ratchet. He shot a glare over his shoulder. Get over here you slaghead. He needs you.

 

Drift went quiet after that. How long he'd sat there, holding Drift's hand, watching him stare at something Rodimus couldn't see, he didn't know. Flashes of Ratchet whisked in and out of his vision, tending to Drift, scanning his frame, taking notes, murmuring softly so only Drift could hear. Drift didn't respond.

 

The shaking hands took care not to touch him, but the few times they did elicited a pained jerk from Drift, each sending him deeper into the depths of his own mind. Rodimus didn't know how to get him out.

 

Velocity was already gone. It must've left the critical stage, Drift wasn't dying anymore. They couldn't spend all their resources on one person, could they?

 

Rodimus could change that. He was captain. He was in charge. As if he cared what Megatron had to say.

 

Megatron, whose own personal killer squad was responsible for Drift's condition.

 

His condition… that he wouldn't be in if Rodimus hadn't just rolled over and let Drift exile himself. Rodimus rubbed at his face. God, if he had only just gone after Drift after he'd come clean to the crew. Maybe he could've gotten to Drift before the DJD did. Leaving him out in the merciless ravages of space, alone. Knowing full well Drift was on their list. He was so stupid.

 

He was so stupid for listening to Drift and his stupid plan to go back to that ship.

 

The blank expression painting Drift's features was eerily similar to how he looked the moment Rodimus stepped foot in that god-forsaken closet. Completely slack, in an almost dead state, like a broken doll. Was that where he was now? Still locked away in that musty, dark room?

 

"Drift. Come on, buddy. Talk to me." Rodimus cupped his face. It was so cold.

 

Slight movement in his optics. Progress. He could work with that. "Hey. I wanna hear your voice." His hand wandered to Drift's finial and he felt Drift go stiff, vents picking up in pace. Rodimus yanked his hand away. It didn't do anything to calm him. "Scrap! I'm sorry-"

 

"Rodimus…?"

 

"…Right here, buddy."

 

Drift shifted in the berth, optics wide with panic. "I can't- I can't see anything."

 

"What?"

 

"It's dark." His hand was caught in Drift's iron grip, trembling horribly. "I can't see, Rodimus. I can't see-"

 

"Okay, just um-" Rodimus stood up, his hands fidgeting aimlessly. "I'll get Ratchet. Just hang on, I'll be right back-"

 

"Don't go!" Reaching out blindly, Drift's hand just missed Rodimus. He was near hysterics. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me with them."

 

His legs, now feeling far too weak, gave out and Rodimus slumped back down and grabbed the flailing hand. "I won't. I'm not going to leave you." Where the frag was Ratchet? Another urgent ping. He swore Ratchet was just in here.

 

"They're coming back. I can't. I can't, Rodimus." God, Drift's voice was a trembling mess.

 

Rodimus really was not equipped to handle this. His own panic was starting to surface now. "No one's coming for you, Drift. It's okay. It's- it's probably just an optical glitch."

 

"I'm here." A med kit was briskly placed on the table. "I've got you, Drift. What's wrong?" Ratchet's hand hovered over Drift's shoulder, but didn't make contact. The wheezing from Drift was becoming concerning, he couldn't seem to get the words out.

 

"He said he can't see." The panic was coming back up, Rodimus bit it back. "I don't know what happened."

 

"Alright. I'm going to take a look." The penlight clicked on as Ratchet placed a hand against Drift's face, tentatively. Drift didn't flinch, but his vents remained stuck on full flare. "Deep vents, Drift. In and out. Can you do that for me?"

 

Light flashed in the other optic before the click of the penlight turned it back off. Drift didn't respond. Ratchet took in an exaggerated vent, sucking air in slowly, before releasing it back out, over and over, until Drift's began to slow down. "That's it. Good."

 

"And his optics?"

 

Ratchet's hand remained cupping the side of Drift's face. "Nothing to worry about. A glitch from the sedation we've got him on. I've reset your optics. You should regain your sight soon, Drift. It's nothing permanent. I promise."

 

"…Ratchet?" Drift croaked.

 

"It's me. I'm right here." Gentle strokes from Ratchet's thumb across his cheek. "You gave us a bit of a scare, but you're going to be alright. We just need to run a few more tests."

 

"Where's… Ratchet?"

 

Ratchet's face fell.

 

"…Try to get some rest, Drift."

 

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